The Story

When East meets West… when Lao Tzu wrote down the 81 verses of the Tao Te Ching 2,500 years ago in ancient China, he may not have realised the impact its philosophy would have millenniums later in the West and the newly-emerging profession of life-coaching.

When Julia from Taiwan met Nick from England on a coaching course, they didn’t realise at first that they had a common interest in the work of Lao Tzu. This joint interest soon became a course project. As we explored a few verses of the Tao, we began to see how Lao Tzu’s teachings could be related to personal development and coaching principles.

On this blog we intend to continue this work by exploring one verse of the Tao Te Ching each week. We invite you to join us on our journey and add your own thoughts to deepen our learning. How do you interpret Lao Tzu’s message? And how does it speak to you as a coach?

Monday, December 21, 2009

Verse 68

A good soldier is not violent.
A good fighter is not angry.
A good winner does not contend.
A good leader follows the will of the people.

This is known as the virtue of not competing.
This is known as making use of the abilities of others.
This is known as being united with heaven as it was in ancient times.

[For Personal Development]
  • Winning does not mean someone has to lose. Win-win is the only true victory.
  • When you focus on conquering others instead of bettering yourself, the best result you will get is a defeated enemy.
  • Collaboration is more powerful than competition. Working for a common goal creates synergy.

[For Coaching]

  • A strong coach has edge, but does not have to use the edge.
  • Partner with our clients to achieve the results they want, not the result we want them to have.
  • Invite the client to adopt an abundance mentality so they can genuinely share in the successes of others which can support them in their own growth.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Verse 21

The greatest virtue is to follow the Tao and the Tao alone.

The Tao is elusive and intangible.
Although formless and intangible,
it gives rise to form.
Although vague and elusive,
it gives rise to shapes.
Although dark and obscure,
it is the spirit, the essence,
the life breath of all things.

Throughout the ages, its name has been preserved
in order to recall the beginning of all things.
How do I know the ways of all things at the beginning?
I look inside myself and see what is within me.

[For Personal Development]
  • Trust yourself. Trust your intuition. Trust that your thoughts turned into action with purpose will manifest what you desire.
  • The path to enlightenment leads inside. You already have the seeds of your greatness inside you.
  • Don’t get attached to outcomes, stay connected to the Tao.

[For Coaching]

  • As coaches we center ourselves in a self-aware, less reactive state of mind, so we can be open and connect to clients.
  • The coach’s job is to bring out the best of what is already inside the client, for them to find their own answers.
  • The key to get unstuck is not about addressing various situations and symptoms. It is about identifying the source, the underneath truth.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Verse 74

When the people do not fear death,
of what use is it to threaten them with death?
If the people were always afraid of death,
and if those who did wrong would always be arrested and put to death, who would do wrong?

There is always a Lord of Execution whose duty it is to kill.
If you try to fill that function it is like trying to hew wood
in place of a master carpenter.
You will probably cut your own hands.

[For Personal Development]
  • It is not the death itself that’s threatening; it is our perception of death that makes it threatening.
  • What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens.
  • If we realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to.
  • Be present. Leave the control of future to the master- the universe.
  • Playing God, leaves blood on your hands.

[For Coaching]

  • Coaching = "who" + follow-through
  • The art of reframing is to maintain the conflict in all its richness but to help people look at it in a more open-minded and hopeful way.
  • Invite the client to let go of their limiting beliefs.
  • The client is accountable for his/her own growth and development. A coach cannot handle it for them.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Verse 32

The eternal Tao has no name.
Although simple and subtle,
no one in the world can master it.

If kings and lords could remain
centered in the Tao,
all things would naturally obey.
Heaven and earth would rejoice
with the dripping of sweet dew.
Everyone would live in harmony,
not by official decree,
but by their own goodness.
When you have names and forms,
know that they are provisional.
When you have institutions,
know where their functions should end.

Knowing when to stop,
you can avoid any danger.
Rivers and streams are born of the ocean,
and all creation is born of the Tao.
Just as all water flows back to become the ocean,
all creation flows back to become the Tao.

[For Personal Development]

  • Living in integrity is the path to inner peace and makes law obsolete.
  • Like quantum physics, the Tao tells us that the deepest level of reality is an energy field of infinite power from which all creation is born.
  • Knowing when to stop; all things have limits. You win only if you know when to walk away from the black jack table.
[For Coaching]

  • Living in integrity is the path to true fulfilment (Coach U Guiding Principle #9).
  • The art of coaching is simple and subtle, yet it produces powerful results.
  • Holding the vision for the clients, all actions will fall into place.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Verse 40

Returning is the motion of the Tao.
Yielding is the way of the Tao.

All things are born of being.
Being is born of non-being.

[For Personal Development]
  • Return to your nature state of simplicity, child-like innocence and curiosity.
  • Let go and let it happen. The more you resist, the stronger the resistance you will encounter.
  • Life often comes full circle.

[For Coaching]

  • Great coaching is to uncover the who and invite the client to embrace who they are.
  • People are inquisitive: Wonder, curiosity and inquiry are the source of all learning (Coach U Guiding Principle #2)
  • The most powerful coaching takes place at the level of "who", the non-being.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Verse 60

Governing a large country is like cooking a small fish.
You spoil it with too much poking.

Center your country in the Tao
and evil will have no power.
Not that it isn't there,
but you'll be able to step out of its way.

Give evil nothing to oppose
and it will disappear by itself.

[For Personal Development]
  • Less is more. You “overcook the fish” when you are trying too hard.
  • Center your team in what’s truly important to the people, and things will come together by themselves.
  • As a leader you don’t have to do more than that.When people have integrity, crises may still happen but are no longer threats.
[For Coaching]
  • Great coaching is effortless.
  • As coaches, we invite our clients to center themselves in their values and life purpose.
  • Feel the fear and do it anyway: when people live out of integrity, the fear may still exist but it is grounded and harmless.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Verse 2

When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad.

Being and non-being create each other.
Difficult and easy support each other.
Long and short define each other.
High and low depend on each other.
Before and after follow each other.

Therefore the Master acts without effortand teaches without saying anything.
Things arise and he lets them come;
things disappear and he lets them go.
He has but doesn't possess,acts but doesn't expect.
When his work is done, he forgets it.
That is why it lasts forever.

[For Personal Development]

  • Beauty is defined by something being seen as ugly. Good and bad are two sides of the same coin.
  • Opposites are judgments of the human mind, make one and you also make the other.
  • Yin and Yang coexist at any given time. Be human: accept your weaknesses.
  • Accomplish much by trying less.

[For Coaching]

  • See each client as a whole person; unconditionally celebrate their strengths and accept their weaknesses.
  • It's perfectly normal to run into a few stumbling blocks on a fast track.
  • As a coach, don’t attach to an outcome. The client does the work and is responsible for his/her outcomes.
  • Be present and, in the dance with the client, things will arise naturally.
  • Be a role model.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Verse 81

True words aren't beautiful;
beautiful words aren't true.
Good men do not argue;
those who argue are not good.
Wise men don't need to prove their point;
those who need to prove their point aren't wise.

The Master has no possessions.
The more he does for others,
the happier he is.
The more he gives to others,
the wealthier he is.

The Tao nourishes by not forcing.
By not dominating, the Master leads.

[For Personal Development]
  • Be your authentic self- be your own kind of beautiful.
  • Let go of resistance. Return to your true nature: no arguments, no should's, no have-to's.
  • The truth is simple.
  • Keeping up with the Joneses does not make you happy. Less is more.
  • The universe operates through dynamic exchange. In our willingness to give that which we seek, we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives (“The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” by Deepak Chopra)
[For Coaching]
  • A coach speaks the truth on the client’s behalf. True words may not be beautiful, but that’s what the client is hiring a coach for.
  • A message may or may not land well with the client. Detach from the outcome and the client will “get it” when he/she is ready.
  • Be fully present with the client. Forcing in the coach’s agenda is not a sustainable way to move the client forward.
  • Who we are as coaches challenges our coaches and leads them to greater awareness.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Verse 65

The ancient Masters
didn't try to educate the people,
but kindly taught them to not-know.

When they think that they know the answers,
people are difficult to guide.
When they know that they don't know,
people can find their own way.

If you want to learn how to govern,
avoid being clever or rich.
The simplest pattern is the clearest.
Content with an ordinary life,
you can show all people the way
back to their own true nature.

[For Personal development]

  • A fundamental principle of the universe is uncertainty; thinking you know separates you from the Tao.
  • Opening to not knowing expands the possibilities to the unknown; often that’s outside our comfort zone.
  • Keeping it simple makes life easier.

[For Coaching]

  • Thinking we know the answers disconnects us from ourselves and our clients.
  • Trust the coaching process; the clients will find their own answers.
  • We coach around the “who” and show clients the way back to their own true nature, not just the "what" which is about being clever or rich.
  • We are role models for our clients – embracing who we are helps our clients give themselves permission to do the same.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Verse 45

The greatest perfection seems imperfect,
and yet its use is inexhaustible.
The greatest fullness seems empty,
and yet its use is endless.

Great straightness looks crooked.
Great skill appears clumsy.
Great eloquence sounds like stammering.

Tranquility overcomes commotion,
coolness overcomes hotness.
Coolness and tranquility are the real essence of the world.

[For Personal Development]
  • Love the imperfect. You can live to your full potential when there is room to grow. It’s perfect simply because it is not 100% accomplished.
  • Being useless can be useful: a crooked tree can survive thousands year because no carpenter would take it down to make furniture.
  • Being perfect can be useless: the most expensive china is always sitting in the cabinet and not in use.
  • Even the most accomplished person in the world, he/she still has shortcomings, which do not overshadow his/her accomplishments.

[For Coaching]

  • Go beyond the surface; there is always a lesson in every imperfection.
  • The best coaching occurs when the coach is willing to be vulnerable and “imperfect”.
  • True perfection of a person shows up internally (“who”), not externally (“what”).
  • Coolness and tranquility helps the coach to center himself/herself and be able see client’s situations clearly.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Verse 66

All streams flow to the sea
because it is lower than they are.
Humility gives it its power.

If you want to govern the people,
you must place yourself below them.
If you want to lead the people,
you must learn how to follow them.

The Master is above the people,
and no one feels oppressed.
She goes ahead of the people,
and no one feels manipulated.

The whole world is grateful to her.
Because she competes with no one,
no one can compete with her.

[For Personal Development]

  • The basis of any successful relationship is deep respect.
  • Wanting to be your best is far more empowering than wanting to be better than someone else.
  • Leaders are to serve, not to dictate.

[For Coaching]

  • Being open to not knowing gives the coach the power of curiosity.
  • Standing for the greatness of the client is a powerful coaching acknowledgment.
  • Be human and willing to be vulnerable as a coach. It builds trust and models courage for the client.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Verse 53

The great Way is easy,
yet people prefer the side paths.
Be aware when things are out of balance.
Stay centered within the Tao.

When rich speculators prosper;
While farmers lose their land;
when government officials spend money on weapons instead of cures;
when the upper class is extravagant and irresponsible;
while the poor have nowhere to turn-all this is robbery and chaos.
It is not in keeping with the Tao.

[For Personal Development]
  • Stay balanced. Excessiveness is as harmful as insufficiency.
  • Simplify your life. Return to the basics. Money does not buy happiness.
  • Strong values bring peace to individuals and societies.
[For Coaching]
  • Jumping into the “how” before coaching the “who” often leads us to the side paths. Providing solutions on the surface is not a sustainable way to solve a problem.
  • The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Be direct and speak client’s truth.
  • Stay centered and connected to who you are to access the who of your client.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Verse 47

Without opening your door,
you can open your heart to the world.
Without looking out your window,
you can see the essence of the Tao.
The more you know,
the less you understand.
The Master arrives without leaving,
sees the light without looking,
does without trying.

[For Personal Development]
  • Beyond all matter is a field of energy (the Tao), that flows though all things.
  • Mastery does not involve trying to do something. Mastery involves a way of being. (A master does not try. A master knows and does. )
  • Open your inner wisdom; the answer is inside.
  • The more you know, the more you realize that there is more to know.

[For Coaching]

  • Great coaching is effortless.
  • When a coach is open to not knowing, the greater the curiosity and understanding about WHO the client is.
  • Trust your intuition. We sense or feel things before we can prove it or understand it. Share it with the client.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Verse 36

If you want to shrink something,
you must first allow it to expand.
If you want to get rid of something,
you must first allow it to flourish.
If you want to take something,
you must first allow it to be given.
This is called the subtle perception
of the way things are.

The soft overcomes the hard.
The slow overcomes the fast.

Fish cannot leave deep waters,
and a country’s weapons should not be displayed.

[For Personal Development]
  • Extremes meet. Overdoing something might cause the opposite effect.
  • Don't bury pain; it never really goes away unless you acknowledge it.
  • Confidence is something you are; needing to display it is lack of confidence.

[For Coaching]

  • Create a safe space for the client to explore a tough issue and find his/her own answers.
  • Endorse your worst weaknesses. When you can accept and honor the worst part of yourself, you are more accepting of others [by Thomas Leonard].
  • The soft overcomes the hard. A powerful message can be delivered charge neutral (soft) and lands fully (overcomes the reaction or resistance from the client).

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Verse 15

The ancient Masters were profound and subtle.
Their wisdom was unfathomable.
There is no way to describe it;
all we can describe is their appearance.

They were careful as someone crossing an iced-over stream.
Alert as a warrior in enemy territory.
Courteous as a guest.
Fluid as melting ice.
Shapable as a block of wood.
Receptive as a valley.
Clear as a glass of water.

Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arises by itself?

The Master doesn't seek fulfillment.
Not seeking, not expecting,
she is present, and can welcome all things.

[For Personal development]
  • Get clear on what you want first and then decisions will make themselves.
  • Being patient is different from being stagnant. You are alert, receptive and clear when being patient; you are stuck when being stagnant.
  • Respond with intention: a deliberate inaction is better than a blind action.

[For coaching]

  • As coaches we find it hard to describe what we do because the art of coaching is subtle and works on the profound level of WHO.
  • Trust the coaching process: coaching helps client to gain clarity, which leads to awareness, followed by actions. Jumping into the actions too quickly is like throwing the client in muddy water and asking he/she to decide which way to go.
  • Be present with the moment. Not seeking, not expecting, a coach can stay open and welcome all things.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Verse 11

We join spokes together in a wheel,
but it is the center hole
that makes the wagon move.

We shape clay into a pot,
but it is the emptiness inside
that holds whatever we want.

We hammer wood for a house,
but it is the inner space
that makes it livable.

We work with being,
but non-being is what we use.

[For Personal Development]

  • The usefulness of what is depends on what is not.
  • Who we are is reflected in what we do.
  • We need space in order to create.

[For Coaching]

  • We take courses, learn techniques, hire mentor coaches, attract clients but it is the space in our heart and mind that enable us to coach.
  • As coaches we work with questions, acknowledgments, strategies, messages, language, but we manifest who we are.
  • Silence creates space for the client to find his/her own answers.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Verse 33

Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Conquering others takes force;
conquering yourself is true strength.

If you realize that you have enough,
you are truly rich.
If you stay in the center and embrace death with your whole heart,
you will endure forever.


[For Personal Development]
  • Let go of desire to extend power over others and focus on knowing yourself.
  • See abundance in your life and you will experience abundance (law of attraction).
  • Identify with the source (Tao) and not your ego and you transcend life and death.

[For Coaching]

  • Self-awareness is the basis of strong personal foundation.
  • Expanded awareness changes perception and opens up possibilities for new actions.
  • Simplify your life: values first, needs second.